I am 32.5 years old as I write this and while I think of my 30s ahead, it hits me that I have already lived through 25% of this decade. The COVID pandemic seems to have fast-forwarded a couple of years from my perspective. It feels like I was just getting ready to step into my 30s and the next thing I know, I am already a quarter way through it without even realizing it!
As for 2024, it has been an eventful year so far. Earlier this year, I got married to my girlfriend of 16 years and we went to a beautiful honeymoon trip to Paris. The first half of this year felt like a charming dream. In the later half of the year, I was busy wrapping up a lot of pending things in India while preparing to get my US visa paperwork done. We’re currently living in California and we plan to stay here for the foreseeable future.
A new chapter
As I enter this new chapter of my life, I can feel a sense of change happening across all areas of my life. My personal priorities have begun to change, my professional goals are in a state of flux, my perspectives are evolving and I am seeking a deeper meaning and purpose in life in ways I hadn’t before. Above all, my relationship with money seems to have changed, and with it, a lot of my ambitions now feel different.
It’s an odd mixture of happiness, excitement, uncertainty, fear and it all feels a bit confusing. But I am learning to embrace it and navigate this period with intention.
Realigning my goals
As I look ahead, I realize it’s time to realign my goals to reflect the changes in my life and my understanding of what matters most. I will try to break them down into three key areas.
Area #1 – My relationship with money
In my 20s. I was driven by one thing and one thing alone: making money, and making it fast. It almost felt like there was an undeclared urgency to earn money and get rich as quickly as possible. I was willing to put in all the hard work, grind and I felt absolutely charged up about it. I started a couple of companies in my 20s and that helped towards my goal of making more money.
The only measuring unit of success to me was the amount of money I had in my bank account. I thrived on that motivation, that hunger to reach a certain financial goal.
A moving target
Things have changed now. There is a shift in my mindset. As of now, me and my wife have managed to save a good amount, enough that my younger self would have seen it as a huge milestone. Surprisingly, standing on the other side of that goal now, I don’t really feel the kind of euphoria I had expected.
It’s a strange realization that the sense of achievement I thought would come with hitting that financial number just isn’t there. Instead, my mind has already moved the goalpost further, aiming for a new, bigger number. It’s a moving target. What this milestone does bring is a sense of stability and to some extent lowers the state of urgency that I felt in my 20s.
What I have learned is that the inner satisfaction and external validation from society that I was chasing doesn’t come from reaching a certain number. It’s fleeting because our minds are super adaptive machines that quickly get used to things that we once yearned for. Our minds are masters at undermining what we already have and exaggerating what we don’t.
Refocusing on money
Going ahead, I am working on realigning my outlook towards money. Rather than obsessing over hitting some arbitrary figure as fast as possible, I want to focus on building wealth slowly and steadily and enjoy the process of doing it. This approach feels healthier, more sustainable, and takes a lot of unnecessary pressure off my shoulders.
A significant part of this process involves finding a balance between earning more for the future and spending money now on experiences and things that bring us joy. I am working on pulling myself back from constantly thinking about the future and focusing more on enjoying the present. I want to stop sprinting towards a future that’s always one step further away.
Home and retirement
Buying a home is still something that tugs at my heartstrings, though I am not really certain about the timing and location. It’s an emotionally significant goal, but there are so many variables, many of which are out of my control. Still, it remains something I hold dear.
While I nourish this dream, I am also starting to question its logical bearing. I have a dozen of questions that I am pondering over. What does owning a home bring to the table What exactly am I longing for? Is it the internal sense of achievement and stability or the external sense of validation of my success from the society that I am seeking? How much of this dream has its roots in my childhood insecurities? Is this goal also a moving target like the monetary number I wrote about earlier? Nevertheless, all these questions will require a deeper dive into my mind and that’s a topic for another day.
And finally of course, planning for retirement is as important as it has ever been. I want to approach it systematically, with a strategy for investing and preparing for the long term, but in a way that allows me to enjoy the journey along the way.
I am sure, as we grow older our priorities will keep shifting but one thing that I am sure of is that I want to have a healthy and meaningful relationship with money.
Area #2 – Health & fitness
Fitness has always been a part of my life, but in the past, my workouts were focused mainly on building muscles and aesthetics. As I move forward, I want to focus more on overall health and longevity, not just physical appearance. I don’t want to blindly rely on the capabilities of my strong metabolism rate that I enjoyed in my 20s and so I need to be more mindful of what I eat and establish a healthy routine that I can maintain.
On the mental health front, I have been diving into cognitive science and how our brains function. Learning about these topics has helped me a lot to know myself in a much better way. I feel equipped with knowledge about how our minds work and I am working on building mental strength and resilience while keeping my emotions in check. It’s time to put that knowledge into practice. It’s an ongoing process and I am sure it’s not going to be easy to rewrite my brain’s 30 years old software. I think mental fitness, like physical fitness, requires consistency, and that’s something I am willing commit to.
Area #3 – Personal development
Reading and travel are two other areas I want to prioritize. I feel fortunate enough to have travelled to 5 countries across different regions of the world. To be honest, travelling to different countries and exploring the world was never on my goal list but it just sort of happened.
A big reason behind my travels so far was my wife, as I travelled to visit her in different places. She also pushed me to go on trips which I otherwise would have never planned. It might sound cliché, but travelling really does expand your mind’s horizons and gives you a broader worldview. I want to make it a point to go on more vacations with my loved ones. These experiences not only create cherished memories but also offer so many opportunities to learn and grow.
As for reading, I have recently found myself fascinated by ancient human history, particularly old civilizations and empires. Religion is another topic that has got me hooked. I want to delve deeper into these topics as I think knowing more about the origins of humanity is helping me to understand a lot more about life in general. It is helping me to cultivate tolerance towards life’s circumstances and better understand why people behave the way they do and how faith can bring hope and peace in your life. I want to make it a point to keep reading, exploring and learning about various topics as that is something that keeps me grounded in the present moment and brings me a sense of joy.
Technology & finance
I have always been passionate about technology and finance, and as both fields evolve rapidly, I want to keep learning and stay up to date. I have already witnessed a few paradigm shifts in technology since I started my first company back in 2010 and I want to make sure that I always updated on the latest cutting-edge developments in the field of technology. Writing a piece of code and having it run flawlessly is one of the purest forms of happiness that I experience. I want to be able to continue experiencing this state of bliss.
When it comes to finance, I have acquired a lot of knowledge over the last decade but it is something that I plan to dive even more deeper into, particularly in areas like portfolio management and capital markets. What fascinates me most about finance is the behavioral science behind it. Finance has a lot more to do with how our minds work than it has to with crunching numbers. This aligns perfectly with my efforts to understand cognitive science, and I want to cultivate a mindset that will enable me to reach my financial goals while also enjoying the journey.
Conclusion
If there’s one thing I have realized, it’s that life is a constant evolution. The goals we set in our 20s may not hold the same weight in our 30s, and that’s okay. What’s important is being able to adapt, realign, and focus on what truly matters. As I move through this next decade, I know my goals will continue to evolve, just as I will. The most important thing that I am learning is to be in the present moment and do things that bring you joy.